


Not a choice

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Bad Poetry, Depression, I want it off my brain, Inferiority Complex, Issues, Let me live dammit, Personality Disorders, Regrets, Very Bad Poetry, broken person, fucked up families, misfit speaks in bad rhymes, srsly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 16:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14937632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Internet tells me I’m not brokenBut I’ve always been a freakSo here’s a poem on regretsAnd a fucked up mind I’ve got to feed





	Not a choice

Internet tells me I’m not broken  
That it’s just the way I am  
But I didn’t choose to be a freak  
Whatever way I turn my head

I didn’t choose to not understand  
That people love in different ways  
And that I can’t describe a lover  
The same way I’d want a friend

I didn’t choose to not understand  
What “attraction” really means  
And what’s the big deal about sex –  
My body never craved for it

I didn’t choose to not understand  
Why eating meat is a valid thing  
While I couldn’t stand the flavor  
Ever since I was a kid

I didn’t choose to not understand  
How forming bonds with people work  
And how to not be petrified  
And speak to those I don’t know yet

I didn’t choose to not understand  
How one can say they love themselves  
While the only face my mirror shows  
Is one of those I cannot stand

I didn’t choose to not understand  
That I belong same way as the rest  
And that nobody’s gonna eat me  
For taking up some space to breathe

I didn’t choose to not have plans  
Of bright future full of laugh and fame  
While the only dream I’ve ever had  
Was to never be made

I didn’t choose to lock myself  
Inside my head where only demons run  
But I have no one by my side  
To help me stand through the constant fight

I’ve never wanted to be wary  
Of objects sharp and windows high  
But I can’t help that though love living  
I only ever wished to die

I’ve never wanted to become  
A liar, coward and a piece of shit  
But I can’t negotiate with my anxiety  
So it’s a choice I've made indeed

Internet tells me I’m not broken  
That it’s just the way I am  
But I still blame those who raised me  
For fucking hard with my head

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I’m a grown-ass adult and maybe it’s finally time to embrace all the fucked-up-ness I have to deal with anyways and move on with my life. I want it off my brain in public space even though probably nobody's gonna see it.


End file.
